My Mum's Ancient Family Bible

My Mum's Ancient Family Bible
Kept in the garage of all places for so many years, it's finally been put to good use.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Everyone is Disgusting (Leviticus 14-15)

Leviticus 14 finishes up the discussion on leprosy (I think). If you happen to have leprosy and are lucky enough to kick it then you have to go through a disturbing ritual to cleanse yourself:

1) Get yourself two birds. Doesn't really matter what kind although God seems to have a penchant for turtledoves.

2) Get yourself a priest. Make him kill one of the birds in an earthen vessel and then dip the other bird in its blood.

3) Relase the living, traumatized bird (like Jodie Foster running out of that bar in the first scene of The Accussed).

4) Go wash yourself and shave off all your body hair.

It's been established that lepers are unclean. No argument there. They're covered in nasty sores. But God goes a little far in stating that, "When any man has a discharge from his body, his discharge is unclean" (Lev 15:2). He's talking about semen. Dirty, disgusting semen. If a man ejaculates, his bed is unclean and he is unclean until the evening (this is working under the assumption that all sex happens in the morning). After having sex, the man and the woman are supposed to wash themselves immediately (and separately I'm assuming, lest a shared bath lead to more sexy time). The woman is unclean, too, until the evening. With all this talk of uncleanliness, how did anyone in biblical times ever get in the mood?

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