My Mum's Ancient Family Bible

My Mum's Ancient Family Bible
Kept in the garage of all places for so many years, it's finally been put to good use.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

How to Get into the Fat-Burning Zone During an Animal Sacrifice (Exodus 29-31)

God is not easy-going by any stretch of the imagination. He is as detail-oriented as a wedding planner and as exacting as Martha Stewart.

Exodus 29 consists of instructions on how to properly carry out an animal sacrifice. It's like a complicated French recipe. You've got to get a young bull and two unblemished rams (preferably hormone-free). You've got to throw their blood around like you're Jackson Pollock. You've got to separate the fat that covers their entrails. You've got to cut out their organs and cut their limbs into pieces. You've got to burn everything upon the altar. According to God, "it is a pleasing odor, an offering by fire to the Lord" (Exo 29:18). I doubt that.

Exodus 30 is mostly about incense. God has in mind a delightful potpourri of the following: "...liquid myrrh... sweet-smelling cinnamon... aromatic cane... cassia... olive oil..." (Exo 30:23). I think my Mum uses the same stuff around Christmas time to make the house "welcoming," as she puts it. If it doesn't smell like that then I imagine it would smell like the entire contents of one of those stores you see in cheap malls that only sell knock-off perfume.

There's one really strict rule that comes out of Exodus 31: "Six days shall work be done, but the seventh is a sabbath of solemn rest, holy to the LORD; whoever does any work on the sabbath day shall be put to death" (Exo 31:15). Man, he is not kidding. This is one rule in the Bible that I really dig. It's so French (in France the sabbath is called "the entire month of August"). My only question is, is there a difference between sloth and rest? Hopefully not.

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